Monday, October 01, 2007

Grocery Rant

Amy and I drank and ate too much on Saturday at my nephew's failed baptism party (priest got sick). So the best we could on Sunday was to ride Gainesville college.

The Gainesville College trail is a pretty easy 5 mile singletrack loop. Awhile ago, I volunteered for Trips for Kids and had ridden maybe a mile of the trail. It was good to get back there and see the whole trail. None of the climbs are too long or too steep. There are couple of tricky places to practice your skills. Parham calls it a good place to introduce a beginner rider to singletrack. I took a couple of pics.

Click to view album

I found a link to Hodge's blog on psychobillycadillac's blog the other day. Hodge's funny rants inspired me to write about my grocery story experience yesterday.

Amy has been really getting into her cooking. She finds these excellent recipes that are healthy but still taste pretty good. I have tried helping her some, but I have not been consistent about it. Saturday we worked out a really good deal that should allow us both to ride more, eat earlier, and spend more time together. Part of the deal involves us working more as a team both in our riding and cooking. Usually Amy goes to the grocery store by herself, but Sunday I decided I wanted to go as well to show my team support.

Usually my grocery shopping is done with ninja like precision. I know everything I want and where everything is. I use only the small baskets and avoid the buggies. I keep my item count low to use the express or self checkout lane. I basically have very little interaction with the other people in the store.

When you are buying food for a weeks worth of fancy recipes, the experience is very different. First you notice the people around you more. Take for example this lady talking on her cellphone. She was talking so loud that the entire produce section could hear her. She was telling someone that she had accidentally put her dress on inside out. Yes I checked and it was on inside out. She noticed me looking and told her friend that now everyone was staring at her because of her dress. Actually I would have never noticed if she wasn't talking so loud. The dress was so ugly and the colors were so bright wearing it inside out was probably an improvement anyway.

After almost getting run over twice by the cellphone lady's shopping cart, I escaped over to the cereal aisle. I was gazing longingly at the sugar cereals of my youth, and I guess I left my cart a little too far over in the aisle. A man and his son walk by and shove my cart out of the way. No warning or eye contact just walked by and pushed it out of the way. I am not really up on grocery store etiquette, but it seemed pretty rude to me. Not knowing the etiquette I was really not sure how to respond. Should I have chunked my box of Captain Crunch at the dude's head? I settled for my best WTF look and got away from this dude as well.

Sunday did not seem like the best day to go shopping. There were carts everywhere. I got several nasty stares for my cart driving skills. Amy was walking very quickly, and I was just doing my best to try to keep up. This one woman in particular seemed to have it in for me. She kept parking her cart in places that left me almost no chance of following Amy. Several times I had to loop around other aisles to catch up.

Finally I beat the cart blocker to the breakfast sausage section. Amy and I were trying to find the plain Jimmy Dean sausage instead of maple or sage flavored sausage. I think we were in mid sentence when the cart blocker parted the 12 inches between us and started trying to pick out her own brand. I made a quick exit over to the milk section and started studying which chocolate milk brand I was not going to buy. Maybe I just have an overly large sense of personal space, but I think I would have waited a couple seconds to let another choose their sausage in peace. If we would have been discussing some other topic other than sausage and were being rude by occupying space we weren't really using I could understand the cart blocker's frustration, but we were both being active and participating in the sausage selection process.

We almost made it out of the store without any further incidents, but this lady tried to dart in front of me to enter the store through the exit. Luckily she saw the weight of my shopping cart and decided it wasn't worth getting knocked on her ass. The way she bobbed her head and shifted directions back and forth reminded me of the squirrels on my morning commute. I laughed at her as I walked by.

I am going to have to work on my cart driving and people avoidance skills next week. I am sure I will eventually figure out to make it through with less confrontations. Who would have known the grocery store could be so dangerous.


Mark D. said...

Grocery shopping 'ninja style" must be a guy thing.I do the exact same thing.I never use a basket and am in and out of there in 5 minutes or less.Life is good :-)

i8chocolate said...

I call it "Spacial Awareness"; of which Americans are sorely lacking. Grocery shopping brings out the worst in me for the very reasons you've recounted. Why is everyone crazy except for me?? ;)